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Keeping kids safe online: information for parents

The internet is a complex and chaotic place. It’s a place where it’s easy to stay anonymous and contact other people under a different identity. These are the ideal conditions for people hoping to meet potential victims online in their pursuit of their own sexual satisfaction.

Children are among their victims. Nowadays, smartphones, tablets and other devices are all part of kids’ day-to-day lives. Many already have their own smartphone or tablet by the time they leave elementary school. Even responsible and careful use of devices doesn’t protect children from sexualized contact online. Kids often fail to notice that they’re being manipulated and underestimate the risks. Kids are a step behind adults in terms of their emotional and cognitive maturity.

This makes it all the more critical for parents to know the risks and take them seriously. Parents need to know what they can do to keep their kids safe. Here are a few insights and suggestions to get you started.

For more detailed information, we recommend visiting Innocence In Danger.

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Did you know...?

728,000 adults in Germany have sexualized contact with children (aged under 14) online. 1

Did you know...?

40% of children and young people are sexually harassed online. Most victims are aged between 13 and 15.1

Did you know...?

Every day, nine children in Germany fall victim to sexual abuse online.2

Did you know...?

One or two children in every school class are currently affected.2

Did you know...?

Almost one in 10 young people have already been sent pornographic material.1

What is online grooming and how can I recognize the signs?

Online grooming is making targeted contact with children online with the intention of subjecting them to sexual violence – and abusing them.

The perpetrators are mainly active on online chat services, social networks and gaming platforms popular with young children and teens.

First of all, they build a relationship of trust. They appear very attentive and considerate. This makes it easier for them to manipulate their victims. Online groomers usually try to switch to private communications such as messaging apps as soon as they can. They want to avoid the platforms’ security restrictions. Once in a “private” space, their questions and requests become increasingly unambiguous. They ask about sexual experiences and fantasies and request photos and often ultimately request sexual acts.

How can I protect my kids?

Prevention: rules and raising awareness

It’s critical for kids to be made aware of the dangers online at an early stage. Sending photos and videos of yourself can be particularly risky – once something has made it online, it’s hard to get rid of quickly. They can also be forwarded and edited by others at any time. You lose control of them.

In general, the anonymity of the internet means that many people use false names and pseudonyms and create fake profiles. Entire websites and services can be fake. So there’s no harm in exercising more caution when going online. Binding rules for using digital media can also help. These can be set in a written agreement, for example.

Internet user agreement

Innocence in Danger has a template for an “Internet user agreement” between parents and children. Download now. (PDF file, 0.1 MB)

Download

More tips on making the internet safer for kids:

  • Don’t let your kids go online alone – keep an eye on what they’re up to and be by their side from the outset
  • Talk to your kids about what they can include on their profile and agree on how it should look
  • Child lock” security software helps restrict internet use to age-appropriate sites. We’ve chosen to make the content on eBay Kleinanzeigen available only to users aged 12 and above (or 13+). This means that younger children using a childproof filter can’t reach our site. Filter software is available from places like JusProg
  • Set fixed times for using digital media
  • Don’t put a computer in the kids’ room – keep it in a place where everyone can see it
  • Get younger kids cellphones with no internet access
  • Keep privacy and security in mind when setting up online profiles

Important:

Explain to your kids what they can do if they are harassed. For instance, you can report users on Facebook, online chat services and online gaming. Find out how to report an ad or user on eBay Kleinanzeigen here.

If the worst happens: take kids seriously, be understanding and seek professional help

Even rules can’t always stop children from falling victim to sexualized communication online. As perpetrators act very subtly and take their time to gain their victims’ trust, it can be difficult for kids and adults alike to recognize sexual abuse in time.

If you think your child has fallen victim to online grooming, stay calm. To help you do this, it’s a good idea to seek support yourself. You can get this from the abuse helpline +49 (0)800 22 55 530 or online at www.hilfeportal-missbrauch.de.

It’s important not to keep your worries to yourself

  • Look out for changes in your child: do you notice anything amiss?
  • Be open and ready to talk: Let your kids know they can approach you
  • Take them seriously
  • Don’t blame them – the situation is bad enough
  • Don’t probe; let them speak for themselves
  • Tell your kids they’re not to blame
  • If your kids don’t want to open up to you, for instance, out of shame, you can encourage them to share with another trusted person

Where can I get help?

Many institutions, initiatives and organizations deal with online sexual abuse of children. They have all kinds of information and useful services.

Of course, you can always contact the authorities, such as the police or local child protective services.

Innocence In Danger’s guide for parents gives you a useful overview.

more information

Children need our support

Be a good role model – not an easy task

Using digital media is just as intuitive for kids as it is for parents. Parents set an example: their smartphones are never out of their hands (except when they reach for their tablets, just to quickly look something up).

It might help to examine your own use of digital media and spend less time online. Listen to your kids, build a good relationship with them and encourage them. It isn’t always easy, of course – but it’s an important step.

Protecting your kids: Innocence In Danger

The mission of Innocence in Danger is to protect children from sexual abuse and pornographic exploitation online. It is particularly committed to preventing the spread of child pornography online worldwide.

With an intensive publicity campaign and other activities to raise awareness, Innocence in Danger ensures that nothing is taboo and that the public is informed of the danger. The initiative brings together child protective services, economics and politics, since the battle against online sexual abuse can only be won if we join forces.

Innocence in Danger and eBay Kleinanzeigen: working together to protect kids online

As a large and popular online platform, we have to assume that people will try to use our service for online grooming, too. Children aged 12 and above can get their own account – while they need their parents’ permission, they can still be contacted directly.

Our team is working every single day to make our platform even safer and make it harder for perpetrators to groom young people on eBay Kleinanzeigen. As well as making technical improvements, we’d also like to raise awareness. Together with Innocence In Danger, we’d like to prevent online grooming as much as we possibly can – by raising awareness of the issue among parents and children, providing information and listing support services for those affected.

For kids and young people, we’ve put together a few tips and tricks for staying safe online and support services for those affected in one place.

Help for victims of sexual abuse and their families:

  • Innocence in Danger e. V. emergency support helpline: +49 (0)30 33007549
  • Nummer gegen Kummer parents’ hotline – advice on online issues: +49 (0)800 111 0550 (free and anonymous)
  • www.save-me-online.de free, professional and anonymous advice for young people
  • www.hilfeportal-missbrauch.de
  • www.juuuport.de
  • Abuse helpline +49 (0)800 22 55 530: direct support by phone

You can find more points of contact, information and useful tips at www.innocenceindanger.de .

footnote:

1 https://www.innocenceindanger.de/fuer-medien-politik/

2 https://www.gefangenimnetz.de/

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